Another sleepless night. He stood in front of his window, looking out at the expanse of trees and grass blending together into a seemingly endless wilderness. As a three-quarters full moon waned in the nighttime sky, his head filled itself with jumbled thoughts while his lover lay in bed fast asleep. She knew nothing of his other side, and for the past six months he made sure to protect his secret. But this was the night. After six moons, they promised that would return at this very same place on this very night. They would return to take him away forever...forever into their domain where he belonged.
"I never wanted this in the first place," he thought.
But they are in great need of a leader, the wolf said, They have chosen you.
"I am no leader."
That is not your decision, it is theirs.
They had this debate over and over for the past four months. Human and wolf arguing with each other over the future of the one being they share. The first time the wolf spoke to him, the human was scared out of his wits, but no more than when the wolf awakened for the first time. By now, however, he had grown used to the dramatic changes that took place in his life because of that wolf attack just half a year ago.
You have the survival instinct.
"Sure, that's a human quality."
Humans, ha, the wolf scoffed, Scum of the earth. They pollute the air, they poison the waters, they kill their own kind.
"And yet werewolves don't have many saving graces either."
You are a werewolf.
"Not by choice. I will not leave the life you wish me to leave. Most of all...I will not leave her."
HER!? She is a human. You are better than her, stronger than her. You will abandon your own kind for human flesh?
"That's love," he thought briefly.
Duty is stronger, and you have a duty towards your kind. Hundreds, maybe thousands of werewolves in the wilderness looking for your leadership. Our numbers are decreasing with each generation. Food is growing more scarce. Some of us have decided to fend for themselves in the cities! You cannot abandon them for the love of one...puny little...!
"That's my wife you speak of!" the human exclaimed in silence.
My apologies. But if it's companionship that you seek, there are many females in the pack who are known for their great strength and their cunning.
"For one who has invaded my head, you have obviously learned nothing of love. There is only one who can occupy my heart."
So, the wolf said in a somewhat defeated tone, It's all about love, isn't it?
"Oh, you wish it were that easy," he thought, "I am still human."
But never completely human. I will always be here, and you will never be fully human again. You will never belong with them as much as you belong with us.
"Forgive me if I make my own decisions about that."
The wolf paused for a moment, but said, Ah, free will. Another one of your great human qualities. The free will to make your own choices. The free will to take what is not yours. The free will to destroy what is taken. Even the free will to fight over what is destroyed! Your precious free will has led humans to nothing but mistakes.
"But they are our mistakes," the human thought confidently, "OUR kind, by the way, are still quite human."
Then and there was the animal inside silent. For a long moment the human waited for a response but found none. Instead, from outside he heard a song. It was the calling meant to beckon him out of the cabin and into the forest. He loathed this calling, but inside he felt a sort of eagerness for what they had to say after such a long time.
They are waiting, the wolf said.
Quietly stumbling out of the cabin with nothing on except a pair of jeans, the man followed the scent of his so-called "pack brothers." The moon felt as bright as the sun, and still shone from above even as he ventured deeper and deeper into the woods. The smell of the trees, and feel of the cool grass, the brush of the nighttime air...it all seemed natural to him. He felt the wolf inside become more relaxed; after all, he was in his own habitat once again. In turn, the human was relaxed. No longer did he have to experience sterile, inorganic human scents, which had grown to become more and more repugnant as his werewolf side further settled into the fiber of his being.
Several members of the pack, who had been hiding in the shadows until his appearance, sensed his relief.
"Welcome, brother," a figure said as it stepped into the light. It appeared to him in human form. One figure after another appeared in plain sight. Some were male, some female. Some were elderly, some very young. But all of them were barely clothed - wearing just enough to meet the "human standards" of dignity but not enough to resemble members of civilization - and presented themselves in human form.
"It has been a while," the first added, "We have awaited this day with great anticipation. Now that it has arrived, you will now lead us."
As the pack approached him, the human stepped back with hesitation. "I-I don't know," he said.
"Come now," the first said, "I realize it is a difficult transition, but you have been human for far too long. For all time, break the human bonds that oppress you and run free, as we have."
"'Run free'? Is living in the shadows of a dark forest running free? Is hiding in the cities for fear of being discovered running free?"
"That will change. That will all change. All it takes for you is to lead us into a new werewolf age." Other members in the pack murmured with agreement. "Someday, when you have united the werewolves again, when the humans serve their animal masters once again, you will look towards us and thank us as we will thank you for your leadership."
The human could not believe what he was hearing. Conquer humans? The very same humans he had lived with for so long? And what of his lover?
The pack continued to approach him. He took another step backwards with hesitation, then lunged towards them with a growl. They, in turn, stood back. "Stay where you are," the human said as he picked up a tree branch in vain defense, "I'm not leaving."
The members of the pack spoke amongst themselves with confusion, others with disapproval. The first stepped forward and said, "You are a werewolf. You would not kill your own kind."
"I can," he said, "And I will. I am still human. I still have the right to choose, and I DON'T choose you."
His refusal to lead did not anger them as much then his mentioning of that curse: "human." It was the word they were taught to make their blood boil and their fur spring from their skin. Indeed, out of anger, one by one they forced the issue by transforming into the creatures they are. Some of the younger ones did not understand why they should change when one uttered that very curse in such a manner, only that they were taught that humans they were not, and humans they must hate. The lone man, himself, willed the change in defense.
"You WILL lead us," the first said in a low growl. "You are one of us, you have no choice."
At this instant, while his jeans ripped to pieces as the change gripped his limbs, he realized it was no longer a war of words; rather, it was a brief fight for survival. As their eyes reflected the glow of moonlight, it appeared in no uncertain terms that they would not take no for an answer.
He ran.
He learned that he was faster on four limbs than on two, but the change stopped in mid-transition and he had no time to will it any further. He needed to escape and he needed to escape now. The edge of the forest was far away, plenty of time and space for the faster, more experienced werewolves to cut him off and change his mind, or worse. "I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for this," he said as he navigated himself through an endless path of trees.
I warned you, the wolf said, This is a fatal mistake.
"It's my mistake to make," he said in a hurry.
Are you now beginning to regret it?
He would not respond to the question. He could not respond to it, for from the side, one of the werewolves ambushed him and attacked him to the ground.
The man was in a panic. This particular wolf, he guessed, was twice as agressive as the one that first bit him and turned him over to their kind. It drew first blood by digging its claws into his furred chest, and it did not stop. The man struggled with the fellow werewolf for a second before kicking it off his body and into a tree. He hurled it so far and with such strength that the creature struck the tree head first. Once the werewolf's head jerked forward, its body dropped to the ground without any further resistance.
Now you did it, the wolf said in shock, You took one of your own.
He picked himself off the ground and observed the fallen body. Slowly and quietly, it reverted back to its human state. What remained of the twice-agressive werewolf was the broken figure of a young female with long, tangled hair. She shivered in reaction before ceasing all sign of life. He was in complete shock. He had killed in self-defense, to be sure, but he had taken the life of a young girl who had not understood why she should have attacked him. But after the brief moment of guilt, all he felt was the ever-pressing need to escape. He continued towards the edge of the forest.
His pace slowed once he reached the open plains that surrounded the cabin. By then the moon had dropped from its peak in the sky. He hadn't run relatively far, but already he tired of running. He knew they wouldn't follow him into the open; by now, they would've found the girl lying dead against a tree. What's more, he heard their cries of sorrow from deep within the forest. He made his decision, but their howls displayed their displeasure with his reluctance. He paid them little heed as he reverted back to normal form.
Humans, the wolf inside said, Unwise. Unwise and foolish.
"What's foolish is trying to argue with you," he thought, "You may be stronger than us, more enlightened than us, but in the end your inability to understand us will always be your weakness."
Foolish, was all it had to say in response. It then rested for the night.
The pack continued their cries. He still heard them as he slipped under the covers and next to his companion in bed. She turned around to him and said gently, "What time is it?"
"Late," he said.
"Thought you'd never get to bed."
"Don't you worry," he said after kissing her on the forehead, "Where else would I be?"